The last time I woke up before 5:30 a.m. was in October, before my flight to California; and even then I was more crabby than Paris Hilton's drawers. I threw my phone upon hearing my alarm, accidentally kicked my cats at the end of my bed and nailed my foot on my desk chair. It was safe to say I have no coordination when I'm zombie-tired.
Today I traveled an hour and twenty minutes to Froedtert Medical College Campus in Milwaukee, Wisconsin for a doctor appointment with a physical medicine and rehabilitation physician. My appointment was at 8:00 a.m. and my dad picked me up at 6:30. Knowing we were driving through Milwaukee at one of the worst times during the day, I was relatively stressed about being late. The coffee in my stomach was already providing me with enough jitters but the anxiety enhanced them. Instantly I started feeling the brunt of my symptoms swell over my body. Bumpy roads and no pillow made for an angry body.
We hit stand still traffic at 7:30 and I started panicking. I couldn't call the clinic to let them know we might be late because they don't answer the phones until 8:00 a.m. I found this to be hilarious. Once off the highway, winding through the streets of Milwaukee, we finally arrived at Froedtert. People curiously stared as we were fast-walking through the halls while following directions on a printout. Relief settled in my bones as we made it to registration at 8:02. My name was called almost immediately. Like all doctor appointments, I was skeptical to walk in, but I needed to keep my shit together. I had a long appointment ahead of me.
I settled into room number 2 as the nurse took my blood pressure and made small talk. No matter how stressed I get, my blood pressure remains impeccable at 112/80. I noticed the pre-millennium hospital bed across from me and chuckled to myself. The first doctor was a resident to the main doctor I was going to see. He asked all the intricate detail questions so he can put them on file. Healthy people will never know how exhausting it is having to re-tell a story over and over and over again to every doctor. Every time it makes me tear up. Every time it makes me feel weak. Every time it makes me feel like I am the only person going through with it and that I am foreign to all other human beings. My neck started shooting lightning bolts into my head while looking at him on an angle so I re-positioned myself slanted in the chair facing the doctor. It probably looked incredibly silly. He checked my reflexes and told me Dr. Ketchum should be in shortly.
Now the reason for this visit is because I have exhausted all of my other options post-surgery. Medications, physical therapy, chiropractor, rest, massage therapy, trigger point injections and cortisone injections. All my appointments through the last 6 months ran through my mind as tears started to form. I mean I've been super emotional because of withdrawals from duloxetine (a medication being used for neurological pain) but come on! I kept telling myself to keep it together, and like Chuck Norris would do, I scared those tears right back into my eye lids.
Once Doctor Ketchum did an examination, he concluded that I have dystonia in some of my muscles around my neck, collarbone, shoulder and head that have developed since surgery. He explained it as having muscles that don't know how to 'turn off.' And since I was having symptoms for years without a diagnosis, they had plenty of time to get comfortable being pains in the ass. Groups of muscles can cramp around the veins, arteries and nerves, which could be why I'm in so much pain. He suggested we try Botox Injections, every 3 months for 9 months to find relief. If my pain levels drop I will be able to start physical therapy to strengthen my muscles. Doctor Ketchum wants to try pin-pointing areas in the back of my head for migraine relief while targeting others in my neck and shoulder area. There are a few risks, especially injection in this area, that include difficulty swallowing, speaking or muscle weakness. He reassured me that they are rare to happen and if they do, the injections wear off eventually.
Here is the hard part. Like all other doctor appointments, I like to be prepared in case if treatment doesn't work. It's not that I try to set myself up for failure; trust me, I'm a very optimistic person. I like to be prepared rather than let in the dark and make a last minute decision. We discussed if that were to happen and made a plan. Finding little to no relief from these injections could indicate nerve entrapment and I would have to get another EMG. However, I'm hoping that this does the trick.
I am also starting an experiment with CBD Tincture Oil. Referred from a friend, I did a little research and found that it can be beneficial for patients with fibromyalgia, chronic pain and many other medical issues. I purchased a bottle of 100 mg vanilla flavored oil. Each serving is 1 mg and the dose can be adjusted depending on how much you need. For those of you that want a little more information, here are a few articles I found to be helpful:
Buying Guide
Story that will put a tear to your eye
Article
Benefits
I will be updating my progress from the Botox Injections and Oil upon receiving them. Cross your fingers.
Equanimity,
-Kelsey
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